Happy Birthday, My Angel

Happy birthday, my angel baby 👼 This week would have been your first birthday. I’ve struggled to write this, more so than usual. It’s been really hard going through daily life without you in my arms but I know you’re watching over us…so I try to be strong.

You see this would’ve been your first birthday, the first of many celebrations…none of which we get to have with you. I wonder everyday what life would be like with you here – what your laugh or cry would sound like, what your smile would look like. I think of how we would be teaching you all about baseball & wrestling…watching you take your first steps and say your first words…taking you to the beach or zoo…dancing around the house & singing in the car…seeing you discover new things everyday. You would be my very best friend and, if my dreams were accurate, you’d be your daddy’s mini-me.

As time has passed, I find myself crying less but not one minute of the day goes by that you’re not on my mind. Every time I see your dad, I see you. You changed us both in so many ways & you will always be a part of us for as long as we live. I am so thankful to have been given the gift of being your mom – I hope that I can make you proud. Give hugs & kisses to your great grandma & grandpa for me (and Coco too!)

I love you and miss you always ❤️

Mommy

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2019 Summer Shred

And just like that…it’s that time of year again! Summer Shred 2019 officially kicked off today and will run until May 22, which is right before my birthday…and Memorial Day weekend! This is my 5th year in a row doing this and I swear every year the diet gets easier to follow. Last year my whole world was upside down and, as a result, the shred didn’t pan out. My head wasn’t in the game…at all. I followed the diet but I didn’t workout, and without both the results just won’t happen. I ultimately ended the shred before the 30 days were up and I wasn’t even phased – I even went as far as to purchase a one-piece bathing suit. This year, I’m going to try my damndest to fight through every mental obstacle I have and get it done. I want to be healthier and I want to feel more confident on the beach…and in life. It’s going to be an uphill battle – but I need to do this. My stomach is still relatively flat and my weight has stayed pretty much the same so the physical goals for this shred are simple: to gain back some of the muscle that I lost & lose body fat. But really, this is so much bigger than a beach-body challenge for me this year. After being through hell & back, all I can hope for with this challenge is to not just get my body back…but to get my mind right again once & for all.

L – 2017, my “best” body / R – now

If you’d like to follow along on this 30-day summer shred, I’ve listed a shopping list below of the foods that I will be eating. Keep in mind, this is what works for ME. I will try to post here and on my Instagram so as to provide more guidance if you’re following. However, if you’d like a more customized plan or have any questions as to what foods will work in addition to what I’ve listed, feel free to email me at thefight2befit@gmail.com and I will be more than happy to help!

  • Oats
  • Egg muffins
  • Brown rice, quinoa, or sweet potato
  • Avocado
  • Lettuce
  • Banza (chickpea pasta)
  • Tomatoes
  • Cucumbers
  • Chicken, ground turkey, lean pork, tuna
  • Turkey jerky
  • Veggies (kale, asparagus, mushrooms, string beans, zucchini, brussels, eggplant, peppers, etc)
  • Almonds, cashews
  • Cottage cheese
  • PB
  • Quest Bars
  • GoMacro Bar
  • Unsweetened vanilla almond milk

**Not listed here are my kitchen staples (balsamic vinegar, spray/oil, hot sauce, mustard, spices, etc.) as well as my protein powder /BCAAs. Also not listed, Apple Cider Vinegar. My day will always begin with an ACV cocktail – 1 tbsp of ACV mixed with 12oz of cold water.*

Time to be better than what I thought was my best!

xo

Gina

I am 1 in 10

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. 1 in 10 women suffer from this debilitating condition. I am one and this is my story.

My symptoms started very early, probably around 15 years old. I was told it was normal cramps and that it was part of being a woman. However, the pain was so bad I would often be doubled over and end up visiting the school nurse’s office. Soon after high school, I found myself very sick. It was my freshman year at SUNY New Paltz and I vividly remember being in so much pain I couldn’t leave my bed. The pain was centralized near my appendix, so when I finally gathered the strength to get to the infirmary on campus, they sent me to the nearest hospital for what they believed was appendicitis. After 6 hours and several tests, I was told that was not the cause of my pain. Upon my refusal to have further invasive testing done there, I was told to go to a gynecologist. The doctor believed that my problems likely stemmed from that as opposed to anything else. It would take years but that doctor turned out to be spot on.

I visited a gynecologist, as instructed, and after more testing I was diagnosed soon after with PCOS and immediately put on birth control to try to alleviate some of my symptoms. The doctor told me that my pain was derived from cysts that were building up & bursting. The pill only masked my issues. While the period pain greatly diminished, I began years worth of suffering from undetectable stomach issues. My stomach would often blow up to the size of a woman about to give birth…for reasons I still don’t know. I also continued to get random pains near my appendix. I visited 5 different stomach doctors and had every test except a colonoscopy done – only to be told nothing was wrong with me & that I was suffering from IBS. Having been told by the gynecologist that my right ovary that was polycystic, I tried (and failed) for years to link my hormonal condition & stomach issues together. Every doctor refused to support my theory and no one would help me. This went on for YEARS.

Fast forward to the fall of 2017, roughly 16 years after my first severe pain attack & diagnosis of PCOS. I had just lost my baby and was no longer on birth control. I began to get very sick.  I started noticing that slowly all of the issues that I had in high school were coming back…but this time twice as bad. I went to two different doctors about my pain. After a couple of months & several tests, the second doctor ultimately found a small polyp in my uterus, which they removed and biopsied for cancer. The biopsy turned out to be negative but I was still very sick. The pain was unbearable & I didn’t know what to do anymore. The doctor also couldn’t help me – but he did send me to someone who would. She was a specialist for pelvic pain & endometriosis. I started to research this condition and finally it all made sense.

As I did the research, I noticed that everything I had been suffering with and seeking help for, was classic to endometriosis. For years, I had been convinced my stomach issues were related to my hormonal problems. Now I had the science to back me up. One of the most classic symptoms of endo is appendix pain…and IBS. Two things I had been suffering with for over 15 years! When I explained everything to this new specialist, she nodded her head and told me that I presented classic endo symptoms & she could help me. I started to cry.  For years, it felt like no doctors believed me – finally I found someone who not only believed me but knew how to treat me! She had me begin a new pill, which mimicked birth control but contained different hormones. After two months, I didn’t feel better so she presented other options, one of which was another drug called Lupron…which puts your body into menopause. I lost it when she even suggested such a thing so I opted for the other option, which was to have a laproscopic endometrial excision & appendectomy instead. My appendix wasn’t appearing to be sick, but since that was where all of pain was located (and since you don’t need an appendix anyway) out it came. The recovery was miserable but as time went on, I got increasingly better. For the first time in my whole life, I had regular periods with minimal pain and almost non-existent stomach issues! I made the decision to not go back on birth control. With my age and history – I don’t need anything else standing in my way when (and if) the opportunity to have a baby presents itself. I went to my regular gynecologist a few months later to check on everything and upon doing a sonogram and blood work. It came back great! I was told my body was in the best condition it had been in years…and was given the green light to try for a baby!

Everything really has been great, up until two weeks ago. For the first time since my surgery, my period was late….and all out of whack. I started getting that appendix pain really bad again – which is very strange because I don’t have one anymore. My stomach has been acting up, to the point where even water is bothering me, & I’ve had the most miserable fatigue. I’m hoping this is just a temporary, fluke situation and not the start of really bad flare-ups. I’m in the process of undergoing several stomach tests as well as another sonogram to determine the cause of this stomach issue. I know endo can come back, but I’m hoping this is something else – something I won’t need another surgery for.

If you or someone you know is suffering, don’t give up! We know our bodies best – and we know when something isn’t right. It took me MANY years to finally get answers…but I have them now and I couldn’t be more grateful! Be honest with your doctor about your symptoms and don’t settle for answers you aren’t comfortable with. Seek out second opinions, if necessary. Do your homework and really pay attention to your body. It may take some time but I promise, it will be worth it in the end.

xo

Gina

Breakfast of Champions

It’s been a while since I posted a recipe on here. One of the most common things I hear from clients & friends is that they have no time to make breakfast. This right here will solve all of your problems! I was never a breakfast person. Growing up, I hated it and as I got older I either didn’t have the time or I just wasn’t hungry. However, as I educated myself on nutrition and started to fix my metabolism, I realized just how important it is. Now…I can’t go without it! If any of that sounds like you, give this a shot. I promise you won’t regret it. Quick, easy, and delicious – you can thank me later 🙂

Egg Muffins

Makes 6 muffins (2 per serving)

Ingredients:

  • 5 egg whites + 1 whole egg
  • Shredded cheese (I use cheddar)
  • *Optional – spinach, mushrooms, kale, peppers, or any veggie you like*
  • Chili Lime Seasoning (Trader Joe’s)
  • Black Pepper
  • Parsley
  • Butter spray

Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Spray your muffin cups with butter spray – make sure to use enough to coat each.
  • Whisk together the egg & egg whites with seasoning & a splash of cold water.
  • Add veggies, if desired, to each muffin cup.
  • Pour egg mixture evenly into each muffin cup.
  • Add a sprinkle of cheese to each.
  • Place in the oven & bake for approx. 15 min, or until mostly settled. The eggs should be cooked but not firm.
  • Take out of the oven and add a little more cheese, if desired. Let cool and refrigerate.
  • When reheating, place in microwave for 15 seconds. Your eggs will be fluffy every time!

An Angel for Christmas

Merry Christmas, baby. This would be your very first Christmas, filled with lots of presents and fun. You would be just about 8 months old now. I would’ve loved to have been able to bring you to Macy’s with your daddy to see Santa and watch your eyes widen with the sights and sounds of a NYC Christmas. I would’ve dressed you in the prettiest red dress and little headband. You would’ve been a big hit with everyone – especially your grandma. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday – but this year just doesn’t feel right. That’s because you’re not here – and so the day is incomplete. There is no other gift I’d love to have more than to be holding you. I can only dream about singing Christmas songs & dancing with you or watching Christmas movies with you. It hurts to watch other babies and children, knowing you should be here too. I hope great grandma is taking good care of you, as she always did for me, and that she’s spoiling you rotten on this your first Christmas.

Love always & forever,

Mommy

A Letter to My Angel On Your 1st Angelversary

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To my baby,

One year ago, on this very day, heaven gained an angel. I never believed much in angels and the like before, but I sure do now. You’d be five months old now and I know you’d be the cutest baby anyone had ever seen. You may not have been with me for long but you made a impact that will last a lifetime.

The morning of October 1, 2017 started out like every other had over those 9 weeks but something was different this day. Call it mother’s intuition or just knowing my body…but I knew something was wrong. You see, I felt your presence almost immediately but that morning…I didn’t. I kept telling your daddy something wasn’t right – I thought that I may be losing you. He did his best to reassure me and calm me down as we went about our morning. I was very sick that morning, more so than usual, and I had more pain than usual too. Despite us being busy, your daddy took good care of me making sure that I had plenty of water and trying to help me as much as he could. The discomfort got worse with time and he offered to bring me to the hospital but I wouldn’t go. I didn’t want to be there for the inevitable. Sure enough, that afternoon you were gone. I went numb. I feel guilty sometimes – maybe I should’ve went to the hospital that day…or maybe I should’ve had the blood test instead of a sonogram so early on. Maybe I would’ve had better care and maybe I could’ve saved you. I know that’s silly – that nothing can be done to prevent this sort of thing. Still, my heart breaks everyday that you’re not here in my arms.

I got the confirmation on the day that I would’ve seen your little body & heard your heartbeat for the first time. Instead of seeing all of those wonderful things, I got the confirmation that I was pregnant…and that I lost you. It broke me in ways I can’t begin to describe. I always will wonder what you would’ve been, if you would’ve been the little girl in my dreams that looked just like your daddy. Every time I see your daddy, I think of you and picture you guys decked out in matching wrestling shirts, just the way it was in my dream. I imagine how different life would be – and how amazing it would be to watch you grow. We would’ve taught you all about wrestling and sports, while giving you plenty of princess tiaras and barbies. I would’ve made sure you learned about life…but not the hard way like we both had to. You truly would’ve had everything that your daddy and I never did…and so much more.

I’ve spent most of this year questioning everything but the one thing I never have to question is the love that I have for you. You changed mommy & daddy from the minute we knew first about you – and we won’t ever be the same. I hope you are safe in your great grandma and grandpa’s arms, playing with little Coco. I hope you see how much mommy misses you and please know that daddy does too – he just doesn’t know how to show it. I’ll try to be stronger for you with each passing day, so you don’t have to see me cry so much. Please keep sending me little signs and watch over us both. I promise to keep your memory alive for as long as I live ❤️

Love always,

Your mommy

New Beginnings

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Thank you all for taking this journey with me. I started this blog about 4 1/2 years ago with the goal of offering support and providing hope that regardless of your struggles – it IS possible. To date, I’ve lost and kept off approximately 80 lbs; from squeezing into a size 14/16 to fitting comfortably in a size 4. I suffer from PCOS, IBS, and Endometriosis. I also struggle a lot with body dysmorphia. However, through it all, I was able to get it done and I decided to become a certified nutritionist & personal trainer a few years ago so I could help others in their own journey.

The purpose of this blog was always to share my experience – from the triumphs to the struggles and everything in between. With that, I’ve decided to change the direction of this blog, so as to be true to me. I’ve been MIA on here and pretty distant on social media over the last few months as I’ve contemplated what I wanted to do. You see, last October I suffered a miscarriage. It’s been the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to go through and it’s completely changed me & shifted my priorities. Despite the lack of support and all of the negativity around me, I’ve decided to be more open and share my experiences, so as to help others who may also be having a rough time. Other blogs & support groups on FB have really helped me this year, so I would love to pay it forward in any way that I possibly can to spread the word on an otherwise taboo subject & help other angel moms to see they aren’t alone.

The new blog will launch on my angelversary, October 1. We will still Fight to be Fit, because fitness is just as much (if not more so) mental than it is physical.  Sometimes things happen that completely rock your world – and change life as you knew it. That’s where I’m at now; I hope you will all continue to follow along through my experience with grief & how it’s changed me, as I embark on my journey back to life. I will also share some letters and quotes, as a way to honor my angel baby.  Regardless of how hard it is for me, I promise to keep it real – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Everyone has their own story & journey…but we are all in this together ❤

Stay strong & stay in the fight!

-Gina

*In loving memory of my angel, Baby R – 10/1/2017*

Angel of Mine

Nearly 7 months have passed and it still doesn’t feel real. Today, April 29, would’ve been your birthday. Instead of being in a hospital holding you in my arms, I sit here with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart. I’ll never get to know who you would’ve turned out to be. I never got to see a sonogram picture or hear a heartbeat. I had many vivid dreams that you were a girl and while I never got actual proof of that, I know you would’ve been the most adorable baby anyone had ever seen. I hoped that you’d have your daddy’s blue eyes & light hair to go with the same outgoing, fun personality that we both have. I may not have had confirmation of your gender but I had a beautiful name in mind, should you have been the little girl in my dreams. You weren’t around long, but you changed your mommy & daddy’s life, as they knew it, forever. I may not know much for sure…but I do know that you were loved more than you can imagine.

Today marks the end of National Infertility Week. I am 1 in 4. This is by far the hardest blog I’ve ever written. I’ve made the attempt to type everything out & share this story several times over the last few months but I just couldn’t bring myself to write finish it. However, I know how isolating this feels and if sharing my story can help even one person out there to know they aren’t alone…it’s worth the pain it takes to write. After all, with experience comes knowledge & knowledge should shared.

I don’t cry as much these days but I still feel a sadness & emptiness inside. It’s a heaviness that’s hard to describe. I don’t have as many “bad” days and that may be due, in part, to the face that I’ve also come to realize that God may have, in fact, “known better.” As the weeks and months went by, I continued to feel physical pain in my lower abdomen which got progressively worse. After seeking help from two different doctors and having numerous tests, they found a polyp in my uterus which had to be removed via hysteroscopy. While there isn’t any way to know for sure, my doctor believes this could have led to my loss. I try to take comfort in knowing that my little one could’ve been harmed had it not happened. I also know that had it not happened I wouldn’t have investigated…and gotten answers to my on-going health issues.

Let’s back up. Throughout high school, I suffered tremendously every month. I had pain so bad that I would be doubled over in the nurse’s office, often leading to my going home. After high school, I had an episode of pain so bad that the college I was at in upstate NY thought I had appendicitis and rushed me to the ER. It wasn’t appendicitis and I was sent home. A few days later I went to a gynecologist who found cysts and after several tests, diagnosed me with PCOS. I was put on birth control and my symptoms were pretty much under control thereafter.

This past summer, despite birth control and all logic…I got pregnant. I was really scared. Not about having the baby…but about carrying it. I suffered a miscarriage in my early 20s, while on the birth control patch (why was that a thing?!) and combined with my age and PCOS…I knew it was a recipe for a repeat. Still, I did what I could to take care of myself. The pee-stick tests were all coming back negative (aside from one that had a very slight pink line) and a very early sonogram didn’t show anything. Why didn’t I go for a blood test? I don’t know. I thought a sonogram would be better…just in case I wasn’t actually pregnant. I was wrong. I had severe morning sickness and an adversion to coffee (of all things). I was also starting to get a little pooch and my boobs…well, they came back to life in the most painful way. I should’ve had the blood test to get the confirmation and extra care that I probably needed. I won’t lie – that has weighed heaviest on me. I genuinely thought that I was doing the right thing but maybe had we had the full confirmation, I could’ve been under a doctor’s care sooner & prevented what happened. I know that’s ridiculous and that ultimately these things can’t be prevented. Still, when you go through this type of loss you have feelings of guilt & genuinely blame yourself. It takes a long time to come to grips that there was really nothing you could’ve done.  Hell I still have days where I wonder if I could’ve done something different. That helpless feeling doesn’t make the situation any easier – it actually makes it worse. No one talks about that…but it’s real.

The reality of pregnancy was sinking in and I was getting really excited about this little one. Despite being so sick that I could barely eat or function normally, I knew it would be worth it in the end. Little did I know that the end..and my worst fear…would come just 8/9 weeks later. Early October came…and so did the bleeding. At first, it wasn’t a lot of blood so I didn’t think too much of it but within hours I was all but hemorrhaging. Knowing how the hospitals around me are..I waited it out a little. I figured if the bleeding slowed down, I’d be okay. The blood was extremely heavy, soaking through pad after pad. Still, I waited a little while. It didn’t totally slow down but within a few hours, it slowed enough to where I didn’t think that I needed to go. What I knew for sure was that it wasn’t a regular period by any means – especially when I saw the grayish mass. I knew what was happening. I was losing my baby.

A sonogram and blood test a couple of weeks later confirmed it. The weeks and months that followed were some of the hardest that I’ve ever had to go through. I put on my game face and went to work every single day but the minute I’d get in my car…I’d be inconsolable. Thankfully, I had a great support system/partner by my side through it all. I truly don’t know how I would have made it without him. The whole situation was hard on both of us, for very different reasons. The holidays, which came about a month later, were especially hard on me but once New Years came I made up my mind to not bring this sadness into 2018 and to give the guy…and myself…a break from it all.

Throughout this whole ordeal, I was experiencing dull to moderate pain in my lower abdomen. I didn’t think much of it, figuring this is what happens after a miscarriage sometimes. However, as the months went by, the pain got worse. I sought out a new doctor who, after 2 sonograms, told me I needed a hysteroscopy to remove a polyp in my uterus. Once removed, they would biopsy this polyp for cancer. That word completely shook me. We went ahead with the procedure and I was a nervous wreck. First I lose a baby…now a cancer scare. A couple of weeks later, I had another sonogram and follow up for my results. Thankfully, it wasn’t cancer. However, the pain persisted and while I do have cysts (common from my PCOS), they shouldn’t cause this much grief. My doctor sent me to another gynecologist who specializes in pain management, specifically that of pelvic pain & endometriosis. After a very thorough consultation and examination, she determined that I most likely have endometriosis. She even told me that my “appendix pain,” something that I’ve suffered with since the age of 18, was one of the most common and classic symptoms of a person with endo. She put me on a hormone treatment, which is essentially birth control but with progestin instead of estrogen. She also put me on a regimen of Aleve to manage my pain better. It’s her hope to prolong the surgery, or laparoscopy, as long as we can.

As far as the loss goes, I have been getting better everyday but now that the actual due date is here, I’m a mess all over again. Truth is, this shook me more than anything ever has. With every passing day and sharp pain that I feel, I worry that I may not be able to have babies at all. The doctors all feel otherwise, stating that getting pregnant is the hardest part and clearly I didn’t have that issue. However, I’m more concerned for my ability to carry the baby to term. There’s no way to even determine that…and it kills me. We’ve come so far in so many ways with medicine but we’re so behind in others. Women can suffer numerous losses and not have an explanation why…just because everything “looks good” or “shouldn’t be a problem.” It’s horrible.

Losing a baby at any stage of pregnancy is by far the hardest thing a woman has to face. What people don’t realize is that you form a bond with that baby immediately. Your body starts to change. You start making these plans and daydreaming about what your baby will look like & grow up to be. Then, in the blink of an eye, it’s over. Sometimes it feels like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from.

To anyone reading this, please know that you aren’t alone. Your feelings are valid – you aren’t crazy. Despite what you may think or feel…this really isn’t your fault. Most people, including your partner, can’t understand how this feels and while they may try to be supportive, it doesn’t make it better. Above all please remember, you don’t have to “get over it” until you are ready. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! The healing process differs for everyone and its no ones right to dictate how long that should take. Allow yourself time to be sad but don’t stop living. I have gone through the motions for months, living my life the way I always have. I know that one day things will feel normal again – and I look forward to that day for me…& for you.

Stay strong ❤

-Gina

*In loving memory of my angel baby, ‘Baby R’, and all of the other angel babies watching over us in Heaven*

Happy Angelversary to My Angel Up Above

To my sweet angel baby,

Another year has some how gone by and just like that it’s already been two years since we lost you forever. Nothing has been…or will ever be…the same. Not one day goes by that I don’t wonder who you would’ve been. Would you be the little girl that appeared in so many of my dreams? Would you have had my sassy personality…to match your daddy’s big blue eyes? I see children that are about the same age as you would be – and it makes me very sad. You see you’d be about 18 months old now – walking, trying to talk, learning & exploring everything and anything you could get your hands on. We’d be teaching you all about wrestling, football, and Yankees baseball. So when I see those children, I can’t help but think of you and wonder what life would be like. I know you would be the most adorable baby, full of personality & an absolute joy to all of our lives.

I would literally give anything to have you in my arms but I will always be grateful for the short time that I had with you. I have some regrets about things played out but you made my dream of becoming a mommy come true…and I will cherish that forever. You will always be my miracle and I will never forget you for as long as I live. I take comfort in the little signs you send me – please keep them coming & continue to watch over me. Be good for great-grandma & grandpa – and be nice to Coco! Miss you always.

Love,

Your mommy

New Year, Fresh Start

Happy New Year & Happy Blogiversary to us! I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since I began this blog. SO much has changed but I thank you all for sticking with me through every step of this journey we call life. I promise you…and myself…a more positive & productive year ahead.

New Years has always represented a chance at a fresh start. I gave up on resolutions long ago, as they never stick. This year I have one primary goal – and that is to put my life back together, one jagged broken piece at a time. As you know, I relaunched my blog a couple of months ago to reflect my current life. Everything has changed so drastically in my life, it just didn’t seem right to continue blogging as if it were the same. Writing has been a good form of therapy for me and I know it has helped others who have had similar experiences. I’m still a personal trainer/nutritionist but everything has been very different since losing my baby – and my business reflected that. My focus is to stop being so stuck in sadness and use all of the bad as a way to rebuild my life. For every negative, I’m going to try my damndest to spin it in a positive way.

I spent 2018 reeling from losing a baby, getting my heart completely broken, & suffering from health issues which required countless tests and two surgeries. My mental health also took a serious downward spiral. I had more bad days than good, in which I didn’t want to even get out of bed. I spent a lot of time crying in my car and in the shower. Even when good things happened, I couldn’t enjoy them. This year, I am vowing to take control back of my life and of my happiness. I may not have the life that I want or the life that I would’ve had if my baby were in my arms, but I can try to make the most of the life I do have. I can’t spend every day miserable and expect things to get better. So that’s my goal. I know it’s not going to magically get better over night. There will likely still be bad days, and more crying episodes, but over time I’m hopeful it will get better. Before all of this happened, I was in the best shape of my life…physically AND mentally. That led to a happiness I had never felt and can’t begin to even describe. While I may not have that same happiness, who’s to say I can’t find a different happy?

I’ve already begun taking steps to improve life a little. After months of debating, I’ve made the very difficult decision to leave what’s become a toxic environment. I’m also trying to focus more on taking care of myself, which includes a commitment to exercise for 30 minutes per day, everyday. Coincidentally, my old workout gurus of Tone It Up are running their Love Your Body challenge, beginning January 14. It’s quite literally the most perfect timing, as I want to get back on track AND love my body once again.

My body (and mind) has really taken a beating. After I lost the baby, I just lost all motivation – like if my body was in such good shape and that happened…what was the point? It’s taken me a long time but I’m finally ready to get back on track. I just want to get healthy again. As I’ve said in other blogs, I don’t care about how shredded I am anymore but I do want to fit better in my clothes and be healthy, for when (and if) an opportunity to try for another baby presents itself. I have no idea what I weigh – and I don’t really care. I want to build my core strength & shoulder strength back up, so I can stop feeling so much pain, as well as work on my endurance. I’m not trying to run any races but I’d like to be in better shape. I’d also like to do yoga every night, as a way to not only stretch & strengthen muscles but to relax. Those are my small goals for now. I think with the help of my Tone It Up girls for extra motivation, it will go well. At least….that’s my hope! I intend on building on the workouts more once I can overcome my consistency issues. So far, so good – I’ve done some form of exercise (at-home workouts, core rehab, outdoor walk, and yoga) every night this week!

I know this is going to be an uphill battle but it’s time to start climbing instead of staring at the mountain in front of me. I’ve struggled with things before but this has been by far the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through. I’ve said many times over the years that the key is to get your mind right & everything else will follow. When your mind isn’t right, you won’t be consistent and everything sort of falls apart. This year has been proof of just that – and it’s time to start taking my own advice. I’m just going to do my best & take it one day at a time – and hopefully, over time, things will fall into place again.

Thanks again for sticking with me – here’s to another year of staying strong & staying in the fight!

xox

Gina