Still in the Fight

Losing a baby & getting your heart broken will cripple you in unimaginable ways. I consider myself a pretty strong person but this past year broke me. Every day since has been a struggle. I wake up in tears more often than I’d like to admit. I look back at pictures of the girl I was before I got pregnant – hot body, healthy, and happy. I was so damn happy – it’s like you can feel it through the pictures. I had everything I always dreamed of – then it was all gone in the blink of an eye. Since then, I’ve become a shadow of that blissfully happy, carefree girl.

A few weeks ago I was inspired by some female wrestlers, specifically the two who recently had babies. That inspiration hasn’t really led to much of a consistent routine though. I’ve done several at-home workouts, a few outdoor walks, and a gym workout. I keep telling myself to get my shit together. I keep trying to force myself to workout, to not just become healthier but to provide myself with a much-needed distraction and stress-release. Except sometimes that stresses me out even more. I just don’t have the motivation anymore. That hot body I once worked so hard for…it failed me. As a result, I lost everything that I cared about. I’ve been trying to just go through the motions, piece together my broken heart one jagged edge at a time – but it’s almost like I’m stabbing myself more every step of the way. That sounds super dramatic but that’s how it feels. I feel stuck. I want to get my life back…but sometimes I don’t even know what that means anymore. My priorities have completely shifted & so have my interests…and my life.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a call from my gyno with the results of my hormonal blood panel. It seems that my weight loss put my PCOS at-bay. My other hormones all seem to be in check and I was told that by the look of both my sonogram and blood work, my egg count was still relatively high. I’ve had three doctors (this one included) all tell me that based on how I conceived a baby on birth control, with two conditions that cause infertility, I should have no trouble once I actually do try. There is (unfortunately) no way to determine if I will be able to hold the baby or not – as I do not have anything currently indicating otherwise. However, this is all bittersweet. That blood work is a snapshot in time…right now. So right now – my periods are regular, body is in check, PCOS seems to have disappeared…if I were able to try, I’d probably get pregnant. No guarantees, of course, but it seems more likely now than ever before. Except I’m not with the baby’s father anymore…nor am I with anyone else. There is no way to “try” for a baby right now and it concerns me that when the time does come…however long that may take…maybe I won’t be able to anymore.

The doctor asked if I was still exercising as much and I said no – not since I got pregnant. She told me to begin that again and do what I was doing before…if it happened once, it could happen again. She also suggested starting either a multi-vitamin or prenatal along with vitamin d. It was a conversation with a shred of hope (and some defeat) that’s put things into perspective.

Last summer >> Now

I don’t have the same motivation or goals that I used to…and that will likely not change. I don’t really give a damn about having some shredded, hot body. That hot body from last summer was working out and eating healthy almost everyday.  That hot body may have failed me when I lost the baby…but that hot body also got pregnant, which is something I always thought would be impossible for me. While I may not give a shit about having that hot body anymore…I can spin the negative and turn it into something productive. Maybe if I can get my shit together and consistently workout again…when the time comes, it can happen again – and maybe now, with the doctor’s help, it will stay put. My current at-home workouts could be much better than they are…but I’m trying. Sometimes it’s just 10 or 15 minutes, and I can barely hold a 20 second plank anymore (hell, my core is total shit since that surgery) – but it’s much better than doing nothing at all. It’s been an uphill battle – I workout for 2-3 days and usually that’s that…but I’m using every last ounce of fight left in me to push forward.

My goals right now are pretty simple. I just want to be able to fit comfortably in my clothes again. I’d like to build my core strength back up. That’s important for everyday living but it will be especially beneficial when (and if) I get pregnant/have a baby. Ultimately though, I just want to be healthy. My body has enough obstacles – it doesn’t need my being overweight and/or unhealthy as another. It’s been 2 days – and so far so good. I plan on continuing with early morning workouts, so as to give myself no extra excuses (IE: being exhausted after a long day of working two jobs). Here’s hoping it sticks this time.

xo

Gina

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Day One…Again

This past year has broken me in ways that are indescribable. I consider myself to be pretty strong but this was more than I knew how to handle. I’ve tried repeatedly to go back into the gym and on some sort of routine but I failed every time. Shoulder pains…endo pains…my fucked up head…it all stopped me. But here we are – a year + week post-baby loss. It’s time to kick my own ass back into gear.

Started from the bottom…now we’re here: May 2017 >> September 2017 >> Now

Last summer, I was in the best shape of my life & shooting workout videos for YouTube while being the happiest I’ve ever been. Then I got pregnant…something I didn’t think was possible. I stopped working out, in an attempt to try to prevent what ultimately happened anyway. Once I lost the baby I lost my motivation. I’ll be honest…I still haven’t found it. I don’t want to be 200+ lbs ever again but I also hate the workouts that my body is physically able to do. My bum shoulder still limits me in frustrating ways. Nonetheless, it’s time. No more excuses, no more bullshit. I may not be able to do my bootcamp/heavy lifting that I like…but I’ll have to experiment until I find new things that I enjoy.

The hardest part will be keeping myself motivated. I barely sleep and my diet could be much better. Today is a good day to start – not because it’s Monday but because it’s a hard day. I got little to no sleep last night – woke up a million times crying and definitely didn’t want to get out of bed….forced myself to get dressed and come to work. It’s that kinda day. Maybe you have these days too – maybe you’re having one today. Well this is my motivation for you…and for me.

I promised myself and I promised my baby that I was gonna get my life back and turn my pain into something positive. So here we go. Today is day one – again. 🙏🏻

-Gina

2018 Summer Shred!

It’s finally spring weather!! That means one thing – it’s Summer Shred time! I’ve done this shred for the past 4 years and every year I learn and improve for the next. Last year, I really got it right so I’m going to mimic what I did and tweak the workouts to be more functional, in accordance to what my body can actually do.

In 2014, I embarked on a 4-week shred and Mission: Hot Body challenge. I mimicked the very strict & regimented diet and workouts of bikini competitors. Super clean eating , 2-a-day workouts…you name it, I did it. It was crazy hard…but I got it done. After 4 weeks of extremely hard work, I had abs and was the leanest & most cut I’ve ever been. The problem was that as soon as the challenge ended, it was my birthday and with it came ice cream cake & plenty of drinks throughout the weekend. To top that off, just one month later I ended up seriously injuring my shoulder…which I have since had surgery to correct. Within two months, all of that hard work seemed to be for nothing. The next two years, I did slimdowns but couldn’t get it quite right. I still worked out and I continued to eat fairly well, but my body would only look how I wanted it to for a short time. Last year, that changed. Now, a certified nutritionist, I have combined my life experience and added a lot more knowledge to the bank. Last year, I did a 6-week shred that was strict…but didn’t totally eliminate things. I limited dairy and sugar. I upped my protein and kept my carbs early in the day. I lost about 10% body fat and about 10-15 lbs in that time span. My workouts were done with a fellow trainer (who is my magical ART guy as well), so while they were intense they were monitored. I killed it and looked great for my birthday…and throughout the summer.

However, the end of summer & end of year didn’t go well for me. Life events and health issues transpired causing a lot less workouts and a lot less motivation.

So here we go again. 4 weeks until my birthday…so a 4-week shred shall begin. I’m going to follow the same plan as last year for my diet (shopping list is below). My workouts will vary based on how I feel health-wise and injury-wise. There will likely be a lot more cardio along with some lower impact resistance training worked into the mix. I’ll post everyday for the first week, as I did last year, to give anyone following along a good gauge on what I’m doing.

In general, I eat pretty well…I’m just not super strict. For the next 4 weeks, I will be cutting out most sugar, alcohol, and limiting my caffeine & dairy intake. The food scale will also come back. Along with MFP, I found the food scale to be extremely helpful in keeping myself on track and accountable.

My ultimate goal with this shred, like every other, is to lose fat while gaining my lean muscle…and motivation…back. I’ve been pretty sick so I’m starting a little later than I planned but we begin TODAY (April 24) and go until May 23 (my birthday). You can continue the rest of that week if you choose, but since that’s my birthday…that’s when mine will end.

This is a list of the foods that I will be sticking to throughout the next 4 weeks, in case you want to reference it for food shopping:

  • Oats
  • Egg whites
  • Tuna
  • Brown Rice
  • Avocado
  • Lettuce
  • Chickpeas
  • Mushrooms
  • Sweet potato
  • Quinoa
  • Chicken
  • Ground Turkey
  • Veggies (kale, asparagus, string beans, zucchini, brussels, cauliflower, peppers, butternut squash)
  • Shrimp
  • Almonds
  • Cashews
  • Cottage cheese
  • PB
  • Rice cakes
  • Frozen blueberries
  • RX Bars/Quest Bars
  • Unsweetened cashew milk/almond milk

**Not listed here are my kitchen staples (balsamic vinegar, spray/oil, hot sauce, mustard, spices, etc.) as well as my protein powder /BCAAs.**

I’m happy to help you with your own customized macros, meal plan & workout guide! Email me at TheFight2BeFit@gmail.com for more information. If you just want to follow along with me & be accountability buddies, that’s cool too! Shoot me a message so we can help each other out! Let’s get beach body ready & Fight to be Fit together!

-Gina

Getting Over the Hump – Detox Day 3

Another day in the books! Today was a really hectic day for me at work but that didn’t throw off my diet at all. Here’s how it checked out:

Breakfast – 1/4 cup oats, 1 tsp pb. Iced coffee with 1 tbsp creamer

Lunch – 4 oz ground turkey, 2 oz brown rice, 2 oz string beans, 1 mushroom quartered.

Dinner – 3 egg whites, 2 mushrooms quartered, 2 oz butternut squash, 2 oz sliced turkey, sprinkle of cheese

Snacks – protein brownie, mixed nuts (almonds, walnuts, pistachio), almond milk latte from Dunkin’ (no sweetener or flavor), protein drink, rice cake

The high number of carbs doesn’t factor in my fiber intake. Carbs should really be around 85g. That’s still pretty high but I’ll do better with it next week. I’ve ordered protein powder, which I was out of, and I’ll be making egg muffins to have for breakfast instead of oats. I also will be having kale or lettuce everyday in one of my meals.

Exercise is at a major standstill with these injuries of mine. I will be going to PT twice a week, getting ART treatments, & doing as much cardio and yoga as my body will allow throughout the rest of this detox.

3 days down…27 to go. We got this! Stay strong & stay in the fight!

-Gina

Day 2 of Detox

Wrapping up day 2 so much better than day 1! As predicted, this day started out smoother & as a result I was a lot less hungry. I have to work on my meal timing so I can get more protein in earlier but otherwise a good day. My carbs look a little high but, if I subtract the fiber from veggies I’m actually good! No exercise; just some yoga stretches and my weekly ART treatment. Here’s what my meals for the day looked like:

Breakfast – 1/4 cup of oats with 1 tsp peanut butter. Coffee with approx. 1 tbsp caramel macchiato creamer.

Lunch – 4 oz. ground turkey, 1 oz brown rice, 2 oz string beans, 1 mushroom quartered

Dinner – 2 whole eggs, 2 mushrooms quartered, sprinkle of shredded cheese, 2 oz sliced turkey, 1 oz Brussels

Snacks – quest bar, protein cookie, protein chips, rice cake. I also had a second coffee made with unsweetened almond milk and 1/2 packet of Splenda.

Water – 64 oz – much less than yesterday and I’m feeling it

Winter Detox – Day 1

Happy Monday & happy day 1 of our winter detox! The first day is in the books! I hope yours went better than mine. I’ve never been so happy to start a detox/shred.

As with many Mondays during football season, I woke up bloated and feeling pretty crappy. The combination of fattening, fried foods & beer always makes my stomach unhappy. That SHOULD stop me…but it doesn’t. We only live once, right? I love football sundays and they wouldn’t be the same without the delicious foods and beer. Thankfully, I can make it through 2 more weeks without an issue. Superbowl Sunday may cause some temptation but I’m already planning some alternatives so I don’t kill my stomach…and this detox.

I started my day with water. It’s the best way to start reducing that bloat and start ridding your body of the garbage. I wasn’t really feeling up to a big breakfast but it’s worse to not eat at all, so I had a rice cake with a tsp of peanut butter. I managed to get in 10 minutes on the stairmaster before my neck gave me grief. That grief lasted the rest of the day but luckily, the stomachache did not. So, around 2pm, I had my lunch (4 oz of ground turkey, 2 oz of brown rice, 1 mushroom quartered, and 1.5 oz of string beans). This was followed 2 hours later with a snack (quest bar). I wasn’t going to have coffee but the migraine was too unbearable so I got a cold brew with almond milk – no sugar or flavors. I only ended up having 1/4 of it. I felt like having eggs as the day went on so I had breakfast for dinner -3 egg whites, 3 mushrooms quartered, 2 oz of butternut squash, 1/4 small avocado. I also ate a lot of my sea salt edamame. I was still hungry (probably because I didn’t eat breakfast) and low on protein, so I had 2 oz of sliced turkey (and a protein cookie) to end the day. I drank 84 oz of water in total for the whole day.

Not every day will be perfect. Some days it will be harder than others to resist temptation or to motivate yourself. Focus on the end goal and it will get easier to push through. 1 day down…29 to go. Hoping for a smoother start to day 2 tomorrow – we got this!

-Gina

Winter Detox

I don’t know about you but I’m in serious need of a detox. I practice flexible dieting – mostly clean eating with some treats thrown in the mix. However, lately I’ve been WAY too flexible. So, I’ve decided enough is enough. Let’s get 2018 started off right! Beginning this Monday, January 15, I will be doing a 30-day winter detox. That word “detox” often scares people. Hell…it scares me too. I don’t believe in juicing or following any type of extreme diet. History has taught me that you will do much more harm than good by following any type of prolonged elimination. This detox is just a way to get our bodies and minds back on track. For 30-days we will be following a strictly clean, protein-heavy diet. No cheat/treat days/meals. Now, I do realize Superbowl Sunday falls in the midst of this. I will likely be participating so I will personally be extending my own detox a few days. Anyone following along can bring their own food to the party or do as I will. I’ve compiled a list to take shopping this weekend. We will be eating 3 meals and two snacks per day (a total of 5 “meals”). I will post everything I eat on here and on MyFitnessPal for you guys to see. If there is something you enjoy and you don’t see it on this list, please feel free to reach out! Also important to note, you do not have to purchase everything you see. This is just a list of compliant foods for the 30-day detox program. You can find these foods at any local supermarket.

  • Oats (quick, old fashioned, or steel cut – none of that pre-made, packaged garbage)
  • Plain, greek yogurt
  • Eggs/egg whites
  • Tuna (solid white, preferred. Always packed in water, not oil!)
  • Brown Rice
  • Low carb wraps (Trader Joe’s)
  • Avocado
  • Lettuce
  • Cucumbers (English or regular)
  • Tomatoes
  • Chickpeas, black beans, or any beans you’d like (make sure they aren’t packed in oil or soaked in some sauce)
  • Mushrooms
  • Sweet potato
  • Quinoa
  • Chicken or turkey breast
  • Ground Turkey or chicken
  • Steak or ground beef – whichever cut you like…just make sure it’s very lean!
  • Peppers
  • Butternut squash
  • Veggies (kale, asparagus, string beans, zucchini, brussels, broccoli, cauliflower, etc)
  • Tilapia, salmon, or whatever fish you prefer
  • Almonds, cashews
  • Shredded cheese
  • Cottage cheese
  • Peanut butter or almond butter
  • Seltzer (plain or flavored)
  • Brown rice cakes (Trader Joe’s sells a good one!)
  • Edamame
  • Protein pasta (Banza is a really good one and easy to find)
  • Unsweetened cashew, coconut, or almond milk (for shakes and soups)

**Not listed here are my kitchen staples (balsamic vinegar, cooking spray/oil, hot sauce, mustard, spices, etc.) as well as my protein powder /BCAAs.**

Water – make sure you are drinking 8-10 glasses (or 80-100oz) of water per day!

Protein Bars – You want to look for bars high in protein and low in sugar. You also want to be careful with carbs. Here’s a tip – look at the fiber then subtract from your carbs. That produces net carbs, which you should aim to always be under 10. Quest bars are excellent for this. RX bars have a higher carb count but have minimal and very clean ingredients. Depending on what you are eating throughout the day, this can be another good option. Other good options include No Cow & Paleo bars. If there is a brand that you prefer and you think will fit the criteria, send to me & I will let you know if it can be added

Fruit – this is tricky. A lot of fruits are extremely high in sugar and while it is always better than eating a cookie or candy, you still need to be mindful. They do contain a lot of vitamins and minerals so we will keep them on. For the next 30-days, stick with berries such as blueberries and raspberries. You can also use lemons or limes for your water. I would steer clear of grapes, apples, and melons for now. Bananas are loaded with sugar and carbs but are excellent before or after a workout. For that reason, I will allow bananas on the plan if you eat them sparingly…and only around an intense workout.

Coffee – If you know me, you know I rarely am seen without a cup of coffee in hand. I’ve done diets where it’s forbidden…and I have yet to figure out why. Of course, like most things, too much caffeine is not good. However, in moderation it’s fine. Now…what you put into your coffee may be another story. I always put almond milk in mine. Sometimes I get fancy and buy coffee creamer- which is eyeballed to the serving size. I don’t like super sweet coffee so that’s good enough for me. I recommend the same for all of you. NO SUGAR ADDED for the next 30 days. If you’re usual order is light & sweet you will have to adjust. Use skim milk and stevia (or Splenda if, like me, you hate stevia). Be careful to not use too much of those sweeteners! If you’re going to use creamers, measure it out. We often put way more than we think! You can also buy the creamers pre-portioned in small cups, also making them portable!

I will be posting some recipes and some of the foods I like on here tomorrow. Check out my Instagram for even more info – @thefight2befit

Let’s work!!

Stay strong & stay in the fight!

Gina