Wrapping Up

As week 3 comes to a close in my winter detox, I’ve decided to stop. The purpose of this for me was to get back on track and I have. I reset my diet…and my mindset.

I knew this wasn’t going to be like most of my shreds, mostly because I couldn’t workout. I’ve gotten my diet back where I wanted it and in the process, I’ve also gotten my mind right once again.

This journey is full of ups and downs. Lately I’ve had a setback with my health, which has thrown my eating time table off a bit. I haven’t had much of an appetite due to the health issues and as a result, I’m forcing myself to eat foods I don’t want when I’m not hungry to eat. Combine that with my neck & shoulder setback, and it’s just not the right time for this. I plan on doing my usual shred before summertime (and my birthday) so stay tuned for that! Hopefully by then, I’m cleared for more exercises and can workout more regularly.

I feel that I got what I wanted and needed in just about 3 weeks on this detox…and that’s all I could hope for. I wish the same for all of you!

Stay strong & stay in the fight!



Road to Recovery – 1 year later

From day one to now

June 2014 – After training for months, I took part in the ROC race (think of the tv show, Wipeout). I trained like I had for Spartan races, focusing on my upper body above all. The day came and I was ready. I flew through the obstacles and then I got to the monkey bars. Historically, I was never any good at those. I was the little kid who’s parents had to hold her as she went across. But that wasn’t gonna stop me. I trained hard, doing many pull-ups. I could do this! I made it half way without a problem. Then I felt something pop and burn. I grabbed my shoulder and let myself fall. I shook it off and continued the race, finishing all smiles. In the weeks and months that followed, that smile quickly faded. At first I thought maybe I pulled a muscle or something…but it wasn’t getting any better. I continued to workout and work around my injury until one day I realized there was no muscle growth on my bad arm. I couldn’t take it any more. 

October 7, 2016 – I finally went under the knife to repair a nagging shoulder injury. After trying my best for two years to rehab and “fix” it on my own, I realized that my injury only getting worse. I went to the doctor and was immediately sent for a MRI, which revealed that I had a torn labrum and, because I waited so long, a frayed rotator cuff. The doctor was clear that while I didn’t HAVE to get surgery, the longer I wait the worse it will get…and the less likely I would be to get back to full strength. So I begrudgingly scheduled the surgery.

I’ve never had a broken bone much less surgery like this before. I had my tonsils out when I was 11 or 12 but nothing like this. Despite being clumsy my entire life, I somehow managed to escape the ER. Yet here I was – ready to undergo surgery. I wasn’t so much nervous for the actual surgery as I was for the recovery. I wasn’t wrong.

The surgery itself went fairly well, despite a nonsensical hiccup at the hospital the morning of. I was given a nerve block, meaning my entire arm was numb and feeling fantastic post-op. Until around 3am anyway. They say you should stay ahead of the pain and medicate. I didn’t want to overuse the drugs that I was given…so I didn’t listen. Big mistake. I learned good from that though and made sure to keep ahead of things for the next couple of days. I was religated to sleeping on a recliner for that first week…and almost a month in total. I couldn’t lay down without being in terrible pain so I gave up and slept like that. It killed my back but at least I was able to get some rest.

One week later, I went back for my first follow-up. I was given a clunky, yet very sturdy, sling/support device. I was also told that I couldn’t drive for at least another week, meaning I couldn’t go to work. I hate to sit still so this killed me. It’s important to note that I’m right handed…and the surgery was on my right shoulder. So this meant EVERYTHING was a chore. Basic things like showering and eating became a ridiculous task. 2 weeks after surgery I was able to return to work and begin getting back to “normal.” Which…wasn’t much. I couldn’t do many tasks at my job and I had to drive with my left hand (no sling could be worn…which hurt more than one may think). It wasn’t easy at all but I was determined. I also began physical therapy twice a week, which was a godsend. They got me moving again and helped me regain my strength.

Little by little, with the help of PT, I was able to get back to normal. A couple of months later, my insurance decided to stop paying for PT and that was that. I kept at it on my own, best I could. I had the idea of enlisting help from my co-worker, who specializes in massage therapy along with personal training. I knew that I needed help with correcting the bad form that I created and while I may be a trainer myself, it’s much more difficult to correct things on yourself. See, over the two years that I was injured I had to adapt and make changes to compensate for the pain. Some I knew I was doing…but many I didn’t. So I got the help that I needed and was well on my way to pain-free workouts…or so I thought.

March 1, 2017 – just under 5 months post-op and I was cleared for all physical activity. The doctor was really impressed with my progress, saying that I was healing faster than most. I wasn’t given any restrictions!  Sounds great, right? It was…except I know no limits and paid the price for that. I began working out the same as I always had…which produced the same pain it had in the past. As I write this, my eyes are rolling HARD. It was stupid to stop the PT warmups and just jump full speed ahead. People tried to tell me that – I didn’t listen. The following month, I began my 6 week summer shred. I went balls to the wall in my workouts and by the end I looked great…but my arm was killing me. 

I went back to the doctor, fearful that I did serious damage again. Lucky for me, doc didn’t think I did anything to my shoulder but he did think that I was suffering from some bicep tendinitis. I was told to scale back my workouts and to rest more. This completely deflated me.

Since then, I haven’t worked out much. I do weekly workout videos and often feel pain in the days that follow. It’s extremely discouraging but I have decided enough is enough. I was able to get back to full strength in just under 5 months…so I damn sure can get there again. I’m not the most patient person but I’m learning how to be better. I began my PT regimen over the weekend and my plan is to do that 3-4x per week (not counting other workouts). I will also enlist the help of my coworker again- not so much for the corrective stuff but for the magical ART work that he does. 

I want to ease my shoulder back into things this time. Knowing how I get, I’ve decided to work towards a couple of goals to keep me motivated. My first goal is to do pull-ups again…and do them unassisted. After all, they were one of my favorite exercises. I’m pretty sure that’s how I blew my shoulder out but maybe if I don’t overtrain and do it right, I can do them better than before. Another goal of mine is to do another Spartan race. That’s not on the forfront as I’m a little skiddish about hurting myself unnecessarily…but it IS something I’d love to do again. Lastly, and maybe most important, my goal is to have pain-free workouts. That is going to require A LOT of patience but I’m going to do my very best.

This injury has taught me many valuable lessons. I need to be patient and truly trust the process. I don’t do myself any favors rushing things. No one tells you how hard this is mentally. Everyone focuses so much on the physical aspect that the mental is all but forgotten. After going through this myself, I’ll tell you the mental is so much more important. If you can’t will yourself through the pain and will yourself to do the work, you’ll never recover. It’s truly a testimony of your inner strength so much more than physical.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an injury or injury recovery, know that it DOES get better. Take the time you need to rest and really take the time to get to know your body. It’s a long process but you will come out on the other side…stronger than before.

Until next time, stay strong & stay in the fight!


This is 34

Another year older…another year wiser. This was a trying year for me but I did my best to push through all of the struggles…and come out stronger from it all.

I started a new career in a brand new field. It’s been quite the journey but I’ve never been happier going to work everyday. I finally understand what it means when people say it doesn’t feel like work. I may have had some financial struggles as a result, forcing some parts of my life to go backwards…but it’s all been worth it.

My shoulder finally gave out and I had no choice but to confront the issue that had been plaguing me for a long time. Being told you need surgery is tough on anyone but when you need your muscles to make a living…it’s that much worse. Combine that with the inability to properly workout…causing some weight gain and A LOT of muscle loss…and it can be mentally debilitating.

No one really tells you how hard it is mentally to get through injury recovery. Everyone talks about the physical element….but no one discussing how truly horrible it is to an otherwise healthy mindset. I’ve touched on this quite a bit on my Instagram and in past blog posts but it can’t be said enough. Despite my daily struggles and how I’ve seemingly gone backwards in how I view my own body…I’ve managed to make a pretty decent comeback. I am wrapping up a 6-week shred where I lost weight and regained my muscle & strength. I’m not at 100% but I’m damn close to where I left off a few years ago. I’ve also been working with a trainer/co-worker on corrective exercises. I’ll be writing a full blog post on this soon but suffice to say that if you are going through PT post-op, you should hire a personal trainer as soon as you are cleared. When you suffer an injury, you compensate for that pain and injury by using other muscles and seemingly doing exercises incorrectly. This will ultimately lead to even worse problems down the line. It’s well worth the time and money to invest in someone who can redirect you back to proper form & help get your strength back safely.

As I enter a new year of life, I’ve also come to some level of acceptance. For my entire life all I ever dreamed of was being married and having babies. While I still want those things, I’ve come to accept that when it’s meant to happen it will…and hopefully with the perfect person (for me). I may not be getting younger but I’m done making myself miserable over things I can’t control. I’m choosing to focus on something I can control – my own happiness. Other people can’t dictate that – only I can. That’s been my focus since New Year’s and will continue to be throughout this year. After all, eventually everything that’s meant to be falls into place.

So it goes, another year older & another year wiser. Here’s hoping this year is filled with lots of laughter, good health, and great memories.

Thanks for taking this journey with me!



Summer Shred – Homestretch!

Hard to believe but week 5 is in the books! For those following along, I apologize for my crazy delay on updating you all. If you follow along on Instagram , you will see that I’ve been eating pretty much the same stuff and working out as much as possible. Life got pretty hectic over the last few weeks but I’ve managed to work in cardio wherever I can as well as my weight lifting days. While my diet has been mostly the same, I have stepped it up this week and gotten a little more strict. I cut WAY back on my carbs. Surprisingly, I haven’t been overly hungry or having weird sugar cravings. This has been my best “cut” yet. My workouts may not have been perfect and my schedule may have been chaotic…but I have seen some amazing results! I also had quite the non-scale victory…in Charlotte Russe of all places…while searching for a birthday outfit:

I didn’t buy that dress…but I did buy one even sexier and tighter.

I got to wear that dress confidently for my birthday celebration with friends last night. We had a very late dinner followed by drinks and dancing the night away. I decided that I’d keep it fairly healthy and safe for my stomach 

I didn’t eat the lettuce, as it had some sort of weird dressing on it. However I ate the rest, along with a taste of the table appetizer and was more than satisfied. For drinks, I stuck to one liquor (tequila) all night. I didn’t mix it with more than a splash of club soda and a few limes. 

I didn’t eat the dessert or bread that the restaurant provided either. I had a great time, didn’t get bloated or sick, and felt content. You don’t have to restrict your whole life to keep your diet in check. Allow yourself to enjoy the special moments in life and all of the food that comes with it. I may have had a pretty healthy night…but that’s what I wanted to have. I know ice cream cake along with Mexican and ballpark food await me this week…so for me it wasn’t worth it to pig out last night. Besides…there wasn’t room for much food in that dress πŸ˜‰

As I enter the final week of this shred (and my birthday week), I have to say this really has been the most successful “cut” that I’ve ever done. I don’t feel like binging…and I got the results that I wanted. Could my abs show more? Yes. Could I weigh less? Probably. However, this was the healthiest, most realistic way to lean out that worked for ME. I will likely keep going beyond this week, so as to keep myself in check throughout the summer. I may not be AS strict but I will keep my diet as clean as possible and workout as hard as my body allows. 

If you’ve been following this shred along with me…stay strong! We are in the homestretch! Keep up with my workouts & meals on Instagram and MyFitnessPal. We got this!


Summer Shred – Week 3!

Today was definitely a Monday πŸ™„ Despite getting off to a very rocky start and being super swamped all day, I managed to kick some serious ass today!

Thanks to insane traffic, I missed out on my morning workout BUT I made sure to go after work. I wasn’t letting another week slip me by. I got in a decent upper body workout…which was my first on my own post-op! Felt good to lift again and not feel crazy pain πŸ™‚

All of the exercises were done in 3 sets of 10 with varying weights. I finished with 20 minutes of sweaty cardio as I watched Monday Night Raw 🀘🏻

My diet and macros were spot on! Here’s how the day shaped up:

Breakfast: my stomach was still iffy when I woke up so I didn’t push it.

  • 1 rice cake with a tsp of pb
  • Caramel latte protein coffee (with almond milk)


  • 4 oz ground turkey
  • 1 oz quinoa
  • 2 oz string beans
  • 1 mushroom, cut


  • Oh yeah! Chocolate chip cookie dough bar
  • Dark roast iced coffee with almond milk (Dunkin’)
  • RX chocolate bar (pre-workout)
  • Phormula1 chocolate shake (post-workout)

Dinner: it got super late so I made it as light…and delicious…as possible

  • Salad made with chopped romaine lettuce, tbsp of toasted chick peas, 1/4 small avocado, 1 chopped turkey burger, and a sprinkle of cheese. No dressing πŸ™‚

Tomorrow is my hell day but I have plans for a solid (& heavy) leg day nonetheless. Not letting stress or long workdays get the best of me this week!

Have a good night everyone!


Summer Shred, Day 5 – FriYAY vibesΒ 

Happy FriYAY!! Day 5 wasn’t as amazing as I hoped. The PT session was definitely not as hardcore as it could’ve been…thanks to a nagging bicep issue. That issue has been plaguing me since my surgery and for whatever reason it picked today to act up. I got in a semi-decent workout nonetheless and was even able to get some ART/Massage work done to it afterward. 

At least my diet…and macros…were on point. Here’s what that looked like:


  • 3 egg whites scrambled with a sprinkle of cheese, 4 pieces of asparagus, a handful of balsamic mushrooms
  • Caramel latte protein coffee (with almond milk)

Post-Workout: Phormula1 chocolate shake (with water)


  • 3 oz ground turkey
  • 3 oz kale
  • 1 oz mushrooms
  • 4 pieces of asparagus


  • 100 calorie almonds
  • Iced coffee with almond milk & 1 Splenda
  • 1/2 cup frozen blueberries with crystal light lemonade (to kill my sugar craving)


  • 3 oz tilapia
  • 1 oz butternut squash
  • 4 oz string beans
  • 2 mushroom caps
  • Salad with sprinkle of cheese, 1/2 cup chick peas, and homemade balsamic vinegarette

Tomorrow is going to be a hectic day but I’m going to try to get some extra cardio in…and keep my diet in check. Have good night everyone!


Believe it…Achieve it – Summer Shred, Day 3

Day 3 is complete…and what a day it was! Here’s how my almost perfect day of eating went:

Breakfast – 3 egg whites with mushrooms, asparagus & a sprinkle of cheese; 1/4 cup of oats with cinnamon; caramel latte protein coffee (2 shots of espresso,  4 oz of almond milk, caramel latte protein)

Post-workout: Phormula1 chocolate shake (with water)

Lunch: 4 oz ground turkey; 2 oz kale, 3 tsp quinoa

Snacks: almonds (100 calorie pack); chocolate sea salt RX bar; iced coffee with almond milk

Dinner: 4 oz roast pork, 2 oz butternut squash, 2 oz string beans, 2 mushroom caps

Macros & calories were almost perfect!! With that and my water intake being on point, I definitely was not nearly as hungry as I was on day 1. I also had an amazing upper body workout today…which included pull ups!! My favorite…and something that I haven’t been able to do in over two years! 

This was the entire upper body workout for today:

Part of the reason for this shred is to challenge myself. It isn’t just to look good…it’s for that extra motivation in the gym. Something I’ve been lacking since my injury…and especially since my surgery. There really are no words to accurately describe how incredible it felt to be able to attempt my favorite exercise again after so long. It was an amazing boost…which is going to come in handy for cardio day tomorrow 😣

Have a good night everyone!